Editorial of December 7, 2023

Bully (Isn’t) for You

Thanksgiving is over, right down to the perfect turkey soup and tired mashed potatoes. Santa has arrived, lampposts are decorated with twinkling lights and bright red ribbons, we have had enough snow to wake up the snowplows and put the lawnmowers to sleep. The much-heralded jingle-bell season has begun—an exciting conclusion to another difficult year as well as a renewed anticipation of, we hope, a good new year to come.

We are still here, still living our lives, still trying to understand the comings and goings of the country and the world. So, it may be a good time to explore one of our most serious and growing threats to the welfare and happiness of our children: bullying. In all of its guises.

Bullying is the use of force, coercion, hurtful teasing or threats, to abuse, aggressively dominate or intimidate. It’s a form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally, and repeatedly, causes another person injury or discomfort; it can take the form of physical contact, verbal abuse, cyber threats and disparaging innuendoes. Strangely, when the word “bully” was first used, in the 1530s, it meant “sweetheart,” from the Dutch word boel, meaning brother, lover. Later, in the 17th century, it became “harasser of the weak,” where it stands now, having hopped quickly over Teddy Roosevelt’s famous bully pulpit, the predecessor of “bully for him.”

Today, bullying among children, in all of its postures, is most prevalent in primary schools, although it can and does begin much earlier and continue much later in the perpetrators’ lives, leading to adult bullying, which, as we are now witnessing, is becoming increasingly prevalent in this country. In schools, bullies may do their damage individually or in groups. Their behavior may include physical assault, verbal harassment, or psychological maneuvering, and their actions are most often directed repeatedly toward particular targets. The children who are bullied tend to be members of a different social class, race, religion, gender, or of a differing personality, strength, size, or ability, both intellectual and physical.

And now there is a recent addition to the bully tools: the Internet. Cyberbullying—willful and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices—has become a very real threat. Victims are bullied in any online setting, including social media, computer games, and text messaging, and may include name calling, sharing private or embarrassing photographs, and excluding others. Cyberbullying can be done outside the schoolroom, so a victim can be bullied throughout the day and night. Kids and teens are good at this.

Victims of bullies suffer, unfortunately, for a long time. Depression, anxiety, and stress are immediate results; educational failure, school absences, substance use and, in extreme cases, self-harm, even suicide, may also occur. About one in four teens has experienced cyberbullying; one in six has been a perpetrator. One study has shown that 60 percent of middle-school bullies will have at least one criminal conviction by the age of 24. Every state in the U.S. has laws against bullying. Although these laws won’t abolish bullying, they do bring attention to the behavior and inform the perpetrators such activity will not be tolerated.

Let us work even harder to prevent this.