The Partial Observer by Darla M. Youngs

‘Press Release’ Paints Disturbing Picture

Remember “The War of the Worlds”?

The 1938 Halloween episode of a radio series directed and narrated by Orson Welles, “The Mercury Theatre on the Air,” featured an adaptation of H.G. Wells’ science fiction novel, “The War of the Worlds.” Performed and broadcast live at 8 p.m. on October 30 of that year over the CBS Radio Network, the episode is famous for inciting a panic when some members of the listening audience were convinced that a Martian invasion was underway.

Iron String Press was the recipient last Monday, August 14 of a mysterious brown clasp envelope left in the vestibule at 21 Railroad Avenue. Inside was a two-page press release bearing the logo “Crumhorn2025,” along with a rough aerial map of Otsego County’s Crumhorn Mountain.

Our readers will remember that Camp Henderson Scout Reservation on Crumhorn Lake in the Town of Milford is currently for sale, collateral damage resulting from of a flood of sexual abuse lawsuits which led the Boy Scouts of America to file Chapter 11 bankruptcy in February of 2020.

One of the largest undeveloped tracts of land remaining in Otsego County, the Camp Henderson property—668 acres of forests and wetlands housing the former scout camp—is the focus of ongoing preservation efforts by the Otsego Land Trust and a group of private citizens.

The headline of the document we received, purportedly on behalf of a group identifying itself as Crumhorn2025, read: “Entertainment Empire Plots Plans for Otsego Mountain Development.”

Now, unsubstantiated rumors have been floating around Otsego County for some time regarding possible purchase of the scout camp property for development of a casino. Because of this, we experienced a brief “War of the Worlds” moment. Following calls and e-mails to the Town of Milford and upon reading the full press release, we recognized it for what it can surely only be—satire.

“Entertainment Empire Consultant” Henry Diver, listed as the contact for further information, does not seem to exist. There’s an e-mail @yahoo.com with an auto reply: “Hello. Diver here. I’m in an acquisitions strategy session in Portland, Oregon, through 08-17-2023 with limited access to e-mail, but I assure you I am checking my account as frequently as time permits. Bear with me.” No phone number is provided. To date, Diver has not responded to e-mails.

Denver Associates, the company for which Diver is said to work, does not seem to exist, and no address is provided. Crumhorn2025—which Diver and Denver Associates are supposed to be representing—does not seem to exist.

The Town of Milford has received no applications for the project the “press release” describes.

Someone went to an awful lot of trouble—designing a logo, writing the release, creating the map of the proposed development. As such, we share Crumhorn2025’s “plans” for the exaggerated picture it paints of what could become of Crumhorn Mountain if OLT is unsuccessful in its efforts to purchase the land and “aliens” do, indeed, invade.

Entertainment Empire Plots Plans for Otsego Mountain Development

MARYLAND—Otsego County residents are excited by news that Crumhorn2025 has hired well-known entertainment empire consultant Henry Diver, Esq., PDC of Denver Associates to plan a destination resort and entertainment and residential gaming resort atop beautiful Crumhorn Mountain on the site of the former Boy Scouts of America campground.

Mr. Diver said, “My client, Crumhorn2025, have submitted plans for a family-friendly sports wagering destination that will feature baseball-themed restaurants, nightclubs, health spas and gaming venues on site honoring America’s Great National Pastime.”

Mr. Diver said, “Our studies show this project will pump $2 billion annually into the county’s economy. You can bet on it.”

Mr. Diver added that the gaming floor will be called The Haul of Legends, promising record-setting payouts on baseball parlays. The outdoor courtyard, The Rose Garden, will lead guests to a sprawling outdoor amphitheater that will host national acts live in concert. The on-site “Order of the Arrow” banking facility honors Crumhorn’s past and points toward its future. The “Joltin’ Joe” coffee beanery will sign contracts to ship fresh-roasted coffee beans to coffee shops across the northeast via helipad.

All energy for the destination resort and entertainment and residential gaming resort will honor New York’s targeted renewable energy initiatives by being fully sustainable and carbon-neutral by 2035. Trees from the deforestation required for certain construction projects will be shipped to facilities chosen for appropriate repurposing.

Mr. Diver said, “We have submitted plans for a fully integrated, self-sustaining, energy environment powered fully by eight wind turbines, solar panels discreetly lining County Route 35 under heavy shrubbery, a geothermal energy storage facility, and a best-in-class cooling tower.”

Mr. Diver said his clients have pledged to expand County Route 35, transforming the two-lane country road into a four-lane divided highway with limited one-way access to ensure public safety. Innovative electric mass-transit vehicles will utilize existing railroad right-of-way to minimize additional traffic on New York Route 28. Plans submitted for federal approval include expanding the Westville, New York airport to accommodate executive air transportation, as well as a new “Schenevus Flyover” exit and multi-level commuter parking hub adjacent to Interstate 88 to handle the expected increase in traffic.

Mr. Diver said, “We think the existing geography will handle the pilings necessary to build ramps high enough so that it won’t inconvenience the people of Schenevus in the long term and minimize environmental impact downstream.”

Mr. Diver said, “The existing scout camp infrastructure and buildings with 10,000 square feet will provide adequate resources for the anticipated influx of workers needed to facilitate the construction of the shovel-ready facility. We have a team of lawyers on hand to expedite any passport or Visa issues that might arise.”

Mr. Diver said, “We have heard nothing but positive comments to date and are excited to become as much a part of the county as are other world-class tourism destinations and baseball field complexes in the area. Our internal polling data analysis says the county is ready for a year-round destination.”

Mr. Diver said, “We look at what our friends at Windham Mountain have in mind with 200 new single-family homes and we believe we can leverage the same bounty for Otsego County. The Catskills provides a good benchmark.”

Mr. Diver said the resort’s job training and dormitory campus will welcome candidates with or without experience willing to relocate to the beauty of Otsego County. The submitted plans also include a hydroponic, self-contained growth environment with farm-to-table vegan options, and a dispensary.

He said aside from gaming tables, popular slots, baseball-themed sports wagering, on-line gaming, several bars and restaurants, an entertainment hub, and a pool table, the smoke-free, family-friendly environment will include lighted baseball fields, an innovative 21-hole “Blackjack” professional golf course, a 24-7 multi-level lighted professional golf driving range, the Seventh Inning Stretch health spa and day care center, a petting zoo, and to capitalize on the latest wagering trend, a room dedicated solely to dominoes, all powered by on-site, self-sustaining green energy initiatives.

Mr. Diver added, “We are looking forward to new laws that will allow our destination property to take full advantage of the nearby Hooker Forest Preserve. We will be a one-stop resort: attracting and respecting a diverse population of New Yorkers and world travelers who know how and where to get lucky.”

Mr. Diver said, “Crumhom2025 is eager to work with our partners in government as we expedite our application through in time to open for the exciting 2025 season.”

Editor’s Note: A new rumor has recently surfaced that the Boy Scout camp facility will be used to house the homeless. Stay tuned.