The Partial Observer by Blaine Jones

Society Requires Sociality

When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with a stranger? I still recall how amazing it was that the same mother who taught me not to talk to strangers seemed to be able to talk to strangers so effortlessly! These conversations might begin while standing in a grocery aisle, or at the checkout line, or at the library, or at the post office. It did not seem where we were mattered in the least. My mother was fearless! And my father was even worse! After a 10-minute chat, my father knew an amazing amount of information about yet another human. And as far as I could tell, the victim of the conversation seemed to have enjoyed the process! The incredible shock was learning that many adults seemed to share my parents’ gift of gab.

Don’t look now, but surprising interactions of this type still happen today. One might be tempted to conclude that somehow we humans are wired for sociality. In fact, you may be surprised to discover that you also have the innate ability to converse with others and enjoy it. With this in mind, one might not be surprised by the wide popularity of social media. Yet social media is not the same species of communication that my young self witnessed my parents having in their conversations. Those exchanges of long ago were much more exciting. It was as if my parents were risking something at each encounter, be it rejection or being misunderstood or disagreement or embarrassing rudeness. Yet the potential reward seemed worth the risk to them.

One place in my childhood stands out as particularly risky. It was the service counter at our local post office. I did not relish pumping my stingray bicycle to the post office to get stamps for my mother. The counter was attended by some unhappy people. They were not shy about letting a young boy know how bothered they were to sell stamps to him. So it was natural in my way of thinking when the phrase “go postal” came into use, referring to unhappy employees behaving badly at their work place. But things can change for the better. In fact, the United States Postal Service counter is one shining example of how the world has improved! By the way, there are no statistics that I could find supporting the idea that postal workers are somehow more stressed, nor more prone to violent acts targeting coworkers.

Our society requires sociality. It is risky on the individual level, but it is worth the investment. Spend a few minutes each day talking face to face with a real human. It can become a healthy habit. Perhaps our future society will thank you for your efforts. I am sure any children that might observe your socializing will grow up the better for it.

Blaine Jones has resided in the Town of Oneonta with his wife and family since July 2000. He enjoys visiting their kids, grandchildren, eating, working, sleeping, going to church, watching things grow. He enjoys not having a sprinkler system to repair each spring. During high school he wrote a weekly column for the hometown paper. He hopes to write a book someday.